Emmy Awards Fashion - SNOB OR SLOB?

Well, to sum up the fashion, it looks like what they say is true, we
are in a depression. Everyone wore black and were conservative and
appropriately dressed. In other words, BORING!! Sure there were the few
explosions of color but for the most part, it was yet another fabulous
yet unmemorable gown. The LBD won the popular vote of the night. These
at least had texture and some interest, especially the Oscar de la
Renta worn by Sanda Oh. It is phenomenal for black but on camera, you
don't appreciate the contrasting top and bottom.

SNOB FAVORITE

Brooke Shields stole the show with her vibrant Badgley Mischka fuschia gown with a treacherously long but totally fabulous train. She has been a fashion icon since before she was old enough to have her own style. Well, her style has aged beautifully along with the rest of her and she continues to make us love her.

SNOB LOOK OF THE NIGHT



She said she's "feeling great tonight" and no doubt she does by the way she is rocking this Reem Acra one shoulder gown in slate blue with gold accents. This is fresh off the runway for Spring 2009. There is a billowing bow off to one side and a super narrow skirt that hindered her walking, but I don't think she cared, she looked amazing!!

MAKEUP SLOB OF THE NIGHT



There's a point where you just have to say "stop" when it comes to eye make up and that point was about 10 layers ago. The pulled back hair only accentuated the overly dramatic eyes. Eva Longoria also wore something fresh off the Spring 2009 runway in Marchesa. There were loud hushes spreading rumors of her possible pregnancy, thus this loosely fitted dress (which in Hollywood terms means it isn't skin tight and didn't require prior fasting). This also had fringes that distracted from a supposed bump. But it was the big huge bow that got people hypothesizing her hint of the ultimate "gift" of life.

SNOB HOST OF THE NIGHT

The Host Nominees as the Hosts was a bad idea. All it did was made me feel that they should not have been nominated in the first place. There was only one person deserving of being on stage for more than 30 seconds and that of course is the hottest mom that ever lived, Heidi Klum. Just like a super star should, she had multiple wardrobe changes. The hostess with the mostess quickly halted everyone disappointment when she came out in a suit by having it torn off to reveal a skimpy hot pant jumpsuit.  She then went from Valentino (beige ruffle gown) to Kors to a finale in a Christian Siriano design (bottom right).

SLOB FLASHBACK

January Jones dialed a wrong 80's number with a Madonna inspired underwear gown. All I could think about was "Like a Virgin", I mean, is she really too young to know about that?

ODDLY PATTERNED SLOB

It's not that there is anything wrong with the shape itself, Jennifer Love Hewitt obviously looks quite nice in it but the strange ropey knot patterns are so distracting. And what is up with her hair up in a scrunchy?

SLOB OF MEDIOCRITY

This Narciso Rodriguez gown looks like a mall store purchase from Cache or worse.  All she is missing is a corsage. Yes, we all know peep toes are in now but someone needs to tell Julia Louis-Dreyfuss that this trend has not crossed over to peep boobs. It is anti-sexy, either just let it all out or cover it up, the tease just looks uptight and a bit pathetic.  Also, the salmon hue is doing her no favors from trying to avoid looking mediocre and middle aged.

VIBRANT SNOB COLOR OF THE NIGHT


Mariska Hargitay in Carolina Herrera and Teri Hatcher in Monique L'huillier


Take a classic and elegant black gown and crank up the color and you have a red carpet hit. Sounds easy, right? I know, nothing really is that formulaic but Mariska and Teri make it look like a breeze. Yellow is pretty much the opposite of black, right? And nothing pops off the red carpet like yellow. I was able to spot these two bright stars in the audience immediately.

SEASONED SNOB

I for one am miffed that today's fashion is dictated by Gossip-y high school teenagers, I mean what do they know?  Aren't they still just experimenting?  Well, Glenn Close said it perfectly when accepting her win that woman can be "mature, sexy and can carry the show". Damn right! Because not only did the 40's and over crowd carry the show, they stole it. Vanessa Williams wakes up looking better than the entire cast of "Gossip Girls" combined and age has no bearing on it whatsoever. The Kevan Hall black and white print gown has a random splash of pink but it is a welcoming surprise in a sea of bland.


SNOB GODDESS GOWN

I guess if you look like a model for a marble sculpture, it pretty much is the definition of "classic". Olivia Wilde in Reem Acra looks so good she could be fake! And puts Reem Acra on the red carpet fashion map.

VOLUPTUOUS SNOB

We need more of Jane Krakowski in Hollywood (she is in Versace). She is confident and sexy and rightfully so because she is one of the few actresses who has an actual body to describe as nice or sexy. Voluptuous is what makes a woman a woman. Skin and bones are dry and hard. We want curves and softness back!!